1) Banocolates – Spencer Torkelson
Lets. Fucking. Go.
2) Pro Bowlers – Austin Martin
Easy #2 pick in my mind. Great talent and solid contributor wherever he ends up defensively.
3) [Team redacted] – Ha-Seong Kim
Trade talks are on-going and I’m 95% sure this will be done in the next couple days. [Name redacted] will pay a decent sum to get this pick. I never asked, but always assumed it was for Kim. Straight up video game numbers in Korea and if even 80% of that translates, I might be regretting this move.
4) Danimals – Asa Lacy
This is the first pick I’m not sure about. Dan doesn’t like pitching prospects but Lacy is a great one. I’m haven’t seen any video yet, but Lacy is in spring training camp. Just wait for a grainy 97mph fastball and I think Dan is sold.
5) Motley Shue – Nick Gonzales
Gonzales gives me Keston Hiura vibes, which would have been a much nicer compliment before 2020. Still, the hit tool is real and he has a great college performance record.
6) Banocolates – Zac Veen
The top prep bat, plus hit plus power, playing at Coors. I have Veen in the same group as the two players above him. One of the three will fall and I’m fine grabbing whoever.
7) Banocolates – Emerson Hanpenis
I am announcing that I will be taking Emerson Handong in this three pack. That was the plan all along and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Hanpecker is my favorite pitcher in this draft class, even above Meyer/Lacy. Has been that way for a while, I’ve just been quiet about it.
8) Banocolates – Heston Kjerstad
Seems like a reasonable pick for me.
9) The Big Units – Max Meyer
The only reason this pick happens is because Rem is convinced it is the best option and Rem talks with Carroll way too much.
10) Baby Seals – Garrett Mitchell
Fred will be disappointed with the top 3 arms gone at this point. But he will continue to go with risk and upside and grab the college speed demon.
11) Danimals – Garrett Crochet
Back-to-back Garretts! Dan loves MLB ready. And you can’t get more MLB ready than having just pitched in the majors. SP/RP, no one seems to care. The dude has Stuff.
12) G.I. Zo’s – Cristian Hernandez
I am still in amazement at the shock-and-awe of the 2020 J2 wave. Zo will be watching a lot of these names, and I think Hernandez is the first to go. He likely has the highest ceiling too.
13) Tom Cat’s – Carlos Colmenerez
Tom has been on a “getting younger” kick, and for my money, Colmenerez is the best J2 of the class. But Tom also does strange things because his method completely changes every year. It’s just as likely he ends up taking a random 3rd tier catcher at this spot. Patrick Bailey perhaps?
14) Fajita Eaters – Austin Hendrick
Rem needs a loud tool (insert sexual joke here). And Hendricks power is about as loud as they get. Dude could be a top 20 prospect this time next year. He also might flail too much to ever see AAA. Rem will take on that risk and complain about it constantly for years to come.
15) Banocolates – Aaron Sabato
Sorry JK. I know you love 1B prospects, but I don’t think Sabato gets out of the first round.
16) G.I. Zo’s – Robert Hassell III
I don’t think Zo is crazy, he is just a little age focused during his rebuild. Hassell is the best teenager left on the board and Zo will (smartly) take him.
BONUS: 17) Your Mom – Mick Abel
Ray is being his usual overly secretive self, but there is clearly someone he is looking at. I’ll take a stab and say its Abel, who really should be a first round talent, but is getting bumped down by the college pitchers and that Banocolates team grabbing all the bats. Abel falls and Ray is a very happy man.
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