Mocked em? Damn near killed em!

I felt like doing a mock today. So let’s do a mock today!

1. Banacolates- Spencer Torkelson- Jeff is already counting Tork as a member of his team, like when NFL teams drafting 1-1 used to have the press conference the day before the draft to announce the selection of their future bust. Personally, I find this disgusting, as I enjoy the anticipation and making Jeff wait to claim his player.
2. Pro Bowlers- Austin Martin- Consensus #2 pick meets Blue Jay for Pat, and do…you….believe in magic, in a young man’s heart? (playful finger snapping) shoo be doo op yeaaaah magic
3. TRADE Danimals- Ha-Seong Kim– Yes, that’s right fuckers, I’m mocking a trade to happen, because Jeff seems ready, willing and able to deal this pick, and has many suitors already, but Dan might be the best equipped to actually trade for this pick, which is no doubt going to be for Kim.
4. Danimals- Asa Lacy- Having secured the bag on Kim, Dan can return to stocking his farm, and perhaps the perfect mix of close to the MLB and tremendous upside at this point of the draft is Lacy, and this will make many owners sad, especially when Lacy wins 5 consecutive Cy Youngs because Dan owns him.
5. Motley Shue- Nick Gonzales– Shue doorknobbed us with shopping this pick at the Winter Meetings, but that may be more of a information-gathering and curiosity type thing that really, really, looking at dealing. Anyway, if Shue stays here, Gonzales is probably the pick, slightly over Veen, because I really like Gonzales and Shue only drafts players I like.
6. Banacolates- Zac Veen– “A high school kid with prodigious power lands in Coors! Hell yeah, sign me up, this won’t possibly go as bad as Brendan Rodgers!” -Jeff, probably
7. Banacolates- Garrett Mitchell– I think Mitchell will be a popular guy that owners in the middle of the first dream about slipping to him, but I just don’t see it happening. Milwaukee is a great landing spot for a guy with fringe-solid power and they’ve done OK with developing hitters.
8. Banacolates- Emerson Hancrank– Jeff taking a pitcher is earth-shattering type stuff, I realize, but since he would have missed out on Lacy, Handing-a-ling is a close second, and his relative high floor is something that Jeff usually strokes his spreadsheet to as well. He’s got 75 picks in this draft, he’s gotta take an arm at some point!
9. Cleveland Baseball Team- Max Meyer– Meyer rounds out the ‘top 3’ arms, with Lacy, Hanhog, and Meyer appearing on every list in various orders, but always close and a solid tick about the rest. Carroll’s squad could use prospects, and pitching, so this works out pretty well.
10. Baby Seals- Garrett Crochet– Fred will likely lament that he’s missing out on one of the top 3 arms, but he’ll definitely take the consolation prize of a guy that seems to made from the mold of Chris Sale in many ways, and it’s a great pick for where Fred’s team is at, to be honest.
11. Danimals- Yoelqui Cespedes– If Dan manages to hang onto this pick, it’ll be interesting to see what kind of ‘Wild Card Dan’ pick he takes here, but my money has always been on Cespedes, since he’s a sexy name that could *possibly*(although not likely) contribute in 2021, but there still won’t be much waiting.
12. G.I. Zo’s- Carlos Colamenarez– Zobrack made a hell of a splash last year with scooping up all of the J2’s he could, citing his window to compete being years away still, and that makes sense. I think this year he’ll stick with that though, and grab a few more J2’s, although maybe not as wildly as he did last year.
13. Tom Cat’s- Robert Hassell III- Tom is back in the first round, and needs to restock his farm a bit still, and Hassell is probably one of the hotter names at this point. He’s appeared on a handful of Top 100 lists, and is a regular player in this range on First Year lists.
14. Fajita Eaters- Mick Abel– I’m just going to lean into this whole pitching thing that is thought about me. Honestly, I’m not at this point in my draft prep yet where I have a short list of players, but I think Abel has the potential to be a guy that many of us kick ourselves for not taking.
15. Banacolates- Heston Kjerstad– Jeff is elated to see a power college bat fall this far in the draft, and he only really does because he’s a goddamn Oriole. Kjerstad would probably be picked in the middle of the round if he didn’t have the stink of an underslot signing by a shit organization on him.
16. G.I. Zo’s- Austin Hendrick– True to his word, Zobrack aware of his window doesn’t go full blown J2 in this draft, but starts to sprinkle in some upside high schoolers, and Hendrick very much fits that bill. I could see Hendrick going higher, even.