Rem’s Infamous Draft Grades

I’d love to put even more time and effort into the annual draft grades than I already am, but alas, I am just one busy, lazy man. So what I’ve done is just averaged the ‘prospect score’ from my big board, which takes into account every player’s tools, chops and screws them into a new 20-80 prospect grade. For instance, Seth Hernandez was tops on my board at 78.17, meanwhile at 339, I had Juan Flores at a paltry 35. Now, I didn’t have a lot of MLB talent on my board, and some prospects did slip through my BA book-sorting process, so anyone without a score(~50 picks) got assigned a stock 45. Harsh, but fair. Totaled all of our picks, divided by the number of picks, and failed to account for pick quality at all. Without further Adieu:

1. G.I. Zo’s- 63.48 average score- This is what it looks like when you pick 11 times in the first three rounds and then nothing else. The score should be high! The Dax and Arnold picks were good, Holliday and Fischer were decent picks, but perhaps small reaches, and my system loves Luis Hernandez. There’s isn’t a single pick of Zo’s that I don’t like, at least a little. What a goddamn haul.
2. Fajita Eaters- 60.50- if my draft grade wasn’t near the top, when using my own board, there should be major concerns about my faculties. As I mentioned, my system skyrocketed Seth Hernandez to the top, so landing him at #10 was an absolute steal. And though Hagaman and Bresnahan were not ’25 draftees, they ranked very highly anyway, and I thrilled to land them in the 4th/5th. My draft was good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, I liked it (honkhonk).
3. Bloop and a Blast- 54.11- Pretty steep dropoff here, as Ross had a LOT of picks so many of them settled his first round bonanza a touch. Everyone knows I’m an avid Murakami hater, but I didn’t like that pick for Ross, where his rebuild is at, but hopefully it works out for him. I liked the Frey and Asigen picks a lot, and Voit and Watson look like good values. I also think it’s adorable he drafted both Witherspoons.
4. Baby Seals- 53.07- ‘Ol Fredward snagged quite a few guys I fancied, Arquette, Irish, Summerhill, to name a few. Three really solid hitters there that could help Fred in the not so distant future as he re-tools a bit with a young team. He also avoided the pitfall of too many off the reservation picks from my board, so he ends up with a pretty solid haul here.
5. Banocolates- 52.02- It pains me to give Jefferson this much credit, but I also really liked Parker, and especially Cunningham. In fact, Jeff’s first 7 picks were all dynamite in my system until he pooped his pants and picked Ethan Petry. A 40 hit tool and 30 speed, Jeff? Seriously? (Diarrhea noises) I especially like the Duce Gourson pick in the supplementals, I think he’s going to have a long, fruitful career with the Banocolates.
6. Nellamaniacs- 51.54- Nellamania ran wild in the first round, I absolutely loved the Willits and Conrad picks. I also really liked the Ebel and Root picks. Nelly balanced that out by gobbling up a number of MLB pieces, which I wasn’t really big on, but if he’s trying to not be a doormat as he reloads a little bit here, I guess there are worse picks to make. It ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward!
7. Kelly’s Heroes- 51.12- JK survives the law of averages here with a whopping 23 picks. I think he got good value on Hall, and I loved Kepley, will be bothering JK for him later. I didn’t like Carlson or Flewelling a ton, but thought they were solid picks. Coy James and Sam Peterson were tops on my board for a bit there, so I thought he got great value on them. My system is probably a little harsh on Andri Hidalgo, I think he’s worth a lottery ticket, and I think Will Hynes was a steal.
8. Motley Shue- 51.09- Shue had himself a nice little draft here, I loved the Laviolette and Becker picks. My system did not like Landyn Vidourek, which is likely due to his hit tool questions and not the spelling of his name, but I’m not exactly sure. However, I am expecting big things from Jamaurion McQueen, you might remember him from the Key & Peele college football all stars sketch.
9. Ball Busters-51.03- Welcome to the first half of the draft, Eric! Eric didn’t have a ton of home runs for me, but he avoided the GIDPs, too. Not to mention the steal of the draft Yhoiker Fajardo. Turns out Eric can draft, after all!
10. Tom Cats-50.11- Tom didn’t have a surplus of high picks, but made the most of them, with great picks of Colome, Wood and de Brun. The rest of his draft was pretty middling, and chuck full of MLBers as Tom does his annual Deck Chair Reshuffling that’s worked so well for him throughout the years. Can’t have a scrappy rag-tag team without a pile of scrappy, rag-tag players, right?
11. The Big Units-49.77 To avoid hurting feelings, I’m going to celebrate this as a Top Ten Draft! But seriously, I know how this score came in. After a haul of fantastic picks, Anderson, Hammond, Schoolcraft, and Mendez, The Units feasted on relief pitchers and longshots that my system didn’t particularly love. But, since the first four picks were good, this could still be a banner draft for them.
12. BROB’s Barnacles-49.59- Brian spent a little draft capital this offseason, so he didn’t have much to work with, but still managed a handful of solid picks. Taylor, Curley and Eyanson were my favorites, and anytime you have an opportunity to draft a guy named ‘Murf’ I think you have to take it.
13. Rollin Goats- 49.28- Death, Taxes, Me not liking Cale’s draft. I actually don’t hate it at all, and there wasn’t any egregious reaches or anything, there just wasn’t any big hits to drive up his score here. Whole lotta Mid going on, which given where Cale was typically picking, that isn’t really shocking. It’s a badge of honor for Cale at this point, and given my draft grade faceplants in the past, it should be.
14. Danimals-48.22- We all love Dan, one of the highlights of going to Hinckley is being a degenerate with Dan, it’s just…fantastic. However, I did not like Dan’s draft. He had a fair amount of draft capital, but after years of keeping us guessing, he stayed true to his old ways and targeted safety over upside, and ended up with a draft class of MLB players that have jobs, but aren’t likely to ever be All-Stars. I will note, however, that this has worked out amazingly for Dan in the past.
15. Your Mom- 46.59- Ray got off on the wrong foot with my board instantly with Albert Fermin, who may or may not be a polarizing J15, but my system has drawn a line in the sand, and decided he’s terrible. Ray did have some nice picks after that, with Dotel, Hartshorn, and Salcedo being favorites of mine, but he also went rogue on more picks than most, which probably just speaks to Ray’s gritty, underground knowledge of prospects that I’m too stupid to understand. Svert.
16. Pro Bowlers- 0.0- Pat knows what he did.